Parenting Tips

Discipline is a subject close to my heart. I strongly believe that a lot of the issues we are having in society at the moment are because parents aren’t taking responsibility for their children. It’s a controversial subject and this article will touch on a few other touchy subjects.

My wife and I are older parents, with a 10 month old and another on the way. I’m 36 and my wife 34. I love to know things, if I come across something I don’t know, I’ll quite happily sit down and research it til I do. When we found out we were expecting, I started doing a lot of research and reading up on various parenting techniques.

Corporal punishment works. That being said I don’t advocate it. There are other ways to get children to behave that work just as well as a spanking without the issues that go along with it.

One of the best books I’ve read on the subject is Super Nanny by Jo Frost. Super Nanny spent a long time working as a Nanny in England. While working she developed a series of techniques to deal with a large variety of children’s issues. Lucky for us she decided to write them down and the end result was a book every parent should own.

In later years Super Nanny had a show on British television helping families get control back. Some of the children were raging out of control and the parents were at their wits end. She now has a TV show in the US, doing the same thing. What she can achieve in a short amount of time is simply amazing.

Different people have different views on discipline, from letting their kids do what ever they want, through to not letting children do anything. I fall somewhere in between.

I firmly believe that children need boundaries, it’s how they learn. Children love to play, again its how they learn. When you are trying to teach a child right from wrong, the child sees it as a game. They will constantly push the boundaries until they find them. A child that pushes and pushes and still doesn’t find any boundaries as the parent lets them do what they like will become distressed. They will act up more and more until a parent finally tries to establish a boundary.

This becomes more of an issue when you get extended family together for the holidays. It escalates to a war when you have family members with different points of view and no flexibility.

In my own view, if there is a child in my care, ie in my house. I have the responsibility to ensure the child is safe. I have actually been berated for telling a child ‘NO’ and moving them away from electrical and speaker cables where the child could have been seriously hurt. Now while I mentioned above that I believe corporal punishment works, I don’t spank my own children and wouldn’t dream of doing so to someone else’s.

When the holidays come around, families get together. The idea is to have a fun time, enjoying each other’s company and catching up on the time spent apart. It is my view that the family as a whole has the responsibility to keep children from harm and educate right from wrong.

This isn’t the view of all and many people discipline their children differently. It’s important to have a few ground rules for these encounters. If you are raising your child in a particular way, it’s best if you let friends and family members know what they can and can’t do.

In our case we went out and bought a copy of Super Nanny for our folks so that they could understand they why’s of what we are doing and can help, rather than hinder, their grand children.

The holidays should be enjoyed and not be the grounds for a war. Do yourselves a favor and make sure things that are going to set off arguments are talked about before they ruin your day.